Hailed as one of the biggest singer-songwriters of her generation, the music legend has influenced countless stars, including Taylor Swift. But Joni Mitchell’s secret about her daughter, that she kept to herself but alluded to in her lyrics, came full circle after 30 years.
The Grammy Award winner was called ‘one of the greatest songwriters ever’ by Rolling Stone. Known for her brutally honest music, she’s known for Both Sides Now, Big Yellow Taxi and Chelsea Morning. Despite the deep emotion embedded into her songs, the celebrity would keep big chunks of her personal life out of the spotlight. Joni Mitchell chose not to reveal she gave up her daughter for adoption decades ago. It was a secret that was scandalous at the time and would later affect the singer, who poured her soul into music instead. But it came full circle decades later.
Joni Mitchell and her daughter ‘were a scandal’
The star found out she was pregnant after meeting her ex-boyfriend, Brad MacMath. While studying art at a local college, she began dating the fellow artist in 1964. But when he found out she was pregnant, he reportedly fled to California.
Joni, left alone, was terrified. She didn’t want her parents to find out, and left home for Toronto.
“[He] left me three months pregnant in an attic room with no money and winter coming on and only a fireplace for heat,” Joni later claimed. “The spindles of the banister were gap-toothed—fuel for last winter’s occupants.”
She said: “I was the only virgin in art school. I was holding on to this precious thing and stupidly let it go. I got caught out immediately.”
The singer added: “I was a criminal, a fallen woman.”
When Joni Mitchell’s daughter was born a year later, in 1965, she gave her up for adoption because of what others thought.
Sheila Weller, author of Girls Like Us about the singer’s life, also spoke about the change in attitudes.
“It was a huge scandal to be pregnant out of wedlock back then,” Shelia explained.
“It was like she’d killed somebody. So she goes and does this heroic thing – she goes across the country by herself to deal with it.”
She wanted to get her daughter back but never did
Joni kept it a secret, holding it in for years. She was able to find her ground in music, though, weaving her own tragedy and regret into her lyrics instead.
She met her first husband, folk singer Chuck Mitchell, while performing, and they moved to New York.
Joni Mitchell later called it a “marriage of convenience” and thought it’d lead back to her daughter. She claimed he promised to help her get her child back if they tied the knot, but never did. It wasn’t exactly one of the most successful celebrity couples of the moment. After two years they split, and it was during this time afterward that she wrote some of her most successful songs, like The Circle Game and Chelsea Morning.
She believed she wouldn’t be able to provide for her daughter and ‘had to let her go’ but didn’t expect to go on to become a star in only a few years after putting her up for adoption. Later, she reflected on how drastically her life changed.
“Three years later, I had a recording contract and a house and a car, but how could I see that in the future?”
Her album Blue went on to become one of her best-selling records. It’s even Taylor Swift‘s favorite album ever.
Secret sold to a journalist
While Joni Mitchell kept her daughter’s adoption a secret for decades, the cat was finally out of the bag. In 1993 a roommate from her former Art School sold the story to a reporter. While her daughter, who was renamed Kilauren Gibb, had tried to search for her birth parents. Then she finally received a letter from a 32-year-old woman who said she was her daughter.
The pair finally met face to face in 1997, 30 years after she was born.
Kilauren also brought her own son to meet her mother at the time.
Kilauren recalled on the first embrace the pair had: “It felt like I’d gone away on a trip for a couple of months and I was coming home.”
However, it didn’t get off to a good start, and they reportedly had a difficult relationship where they argued a lot, writes Smooth Radio.
Joni Mitchell admitted she felt her daughter suffered with ‘abandonment issues’. But in 2013, she said they had overcome the struggle.
“We’ve worked through all of that,” she explained. “We reminisced about all the little tricks we pulled and the ways we can hurt each other.
“That’s over. We’re going to see each other soon.”
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